Cookie Etiquette

Today something happened to me that I never would have guessed. I made an extra big batch of oatmeal chocolate chip cookies at home today, something I like to do when I’m bored. Life seems more purposeful when you’re in the middle of baking or cooking delicious food.


I was even feeling kind of good about myself, since I discovered this morning that I lost two pounds this week: Entirely the result of only eating food I cook at home. I’m into a new weight range that I’ve haven’t seen in about a year.


I decided to take most of the cookies to work with me to spread the love (and butter), as it were.  When I showed up to my first desk, I offered the cookies around, only to have an associate wrinkle her nose at me and say,


“No. I go to Weight Watchers meetings.”


I responded: “Yeah. I do Weight Watchers too. I cook all my food at home.”


“Ah, you eats lots of fruits and vegetables.”


“Nope. I made barbeque chicken pizza last night. It was amazing.”


“Oh no. You shouldn’t eat that.” Looking me up and down: “What kind of cookies are they?”


“Oatmeal chocolate chip.”


“Oh, so you think because they have oatmeal that you can just eat all you want?”


It was unbelievable. What kind of coldhearted person, when offered a fresh, homebaked cookie, doesn’t simply reach out a hand and say “Thank you”?!


Lady, believe it or not, I am actually aware that I’m overweight. Really, really aware. I’m also really aware of how short and precious life is (something you’d think someone older than me might appreciate, but oh well), and of how badly I don’t want to be miserable for the short period that I’m on this earth.


Yeah, I’m trying to lose weight. I’m actually succeeding, as well, but it’s at my own pace. At this point, I eat cookies to maintain my current weight. When I’m ready to lose a couple more, I stop. That’s because each stage of my weight loss process is about me, about making sure I’m comfortable with where I am and who I am. It’s not about making some random stranger on the street more comfortable with me because they don’t have to look at a muffin top. You might have to look at my muffin top, but I have to look at your face. So just suck it up and eat the darn cookie. It’s delicious. And it might even bring a little joy to your gnarled, sourpuss, perpetually- on-a-diet mug.





Spread the butterlove yourself:
Chewy Chocolate Chip Oatmeal Cookies